8/20/02 12:08am Between movie club on Sunday (The Royal Tenenbaums) and touristing in downtown Albany today, I think I've seen just about everyone I need to see before I zoom back out to the Midwest on Wednesday morning (Dave France: we must hang out within the next 24 hours). When I wake up, I need to clean my room and pack, a project which I anticipate spending about ten hours on (I think that's how long it took last year). Yeah, summer just ended. It's all good, though... this is the end of a summer that probably should never have happened. It's all good.

8/17/02 12:27am Pretty good, appropriate cap on my summer in Albany went down tonight... Risk at my house, lots of good people, and only one real disappointment (nah, it wasn't Billy, though it would have been cool if he could have stayed longer). Tom, Zonk, Kennedy, Mark, Craig, Emily... thanks for everything. Ah! Khury showed up too, man, that was unexpected but really groovy, I haven't seen the man in ages. There was also a Gateway trip, I got the -cheesecake-, which was pretty good, and Tom had an unfortunate run-in with cheese fries and gravy... and one sweet, sweet monocle. Now my clothes smell like smoke and my mind is still racing with Risk-caused rage, but on the whole, I'm pretty satisfied. Tomorrow, it's on to Utica, Sunday, movie club, Monday, a tourist with Mark, Tuesday, the packing scramble begins, and Wednesday, that's all folks... I'm finally going back to continue what I started in Buffalo. "Try not to try too hard... it's just a lovely ride."

8/10/02 12:41pm Back from two weeks in Cape Cod, brought back a bit early by Tom and Bill for Tom's birthday, among other things. Today is the grand opening of the Hudson River Way, should be fun. School is within two weeks... I can't wait. All that's left here is five more days of work, packing my bags, and maybe one last game of Risk with a few important people. Life is swinging up with a vengeance. Ahh, vengeance.

7/24/02 10:57pm My half birthday. Went down to the Empire State Plaza this evening to see Average White Band and America... it was an incredible night for it. I also got a photocopy of my hand signed by Average White Band, and Craig and Billy got their arms signed. With permanent markers. Things are good for me right now... yeah, things are good. I don't need someone by my side telling me it's going to be all right. I don't need what you're doing to me. I'm not the one you're searching for.

7/20/02 1:37pm A hell of a lot has happened in the last month. Cecilia is back up and running, making this update possible. Mike is in New Mexico right now, going through the same motions that I did four years ago. I got my license, and I hate driving. A lot. I pumped gas by myself, and it's basically the worst thing a person can do. Killing the planet, killing your wallet, feeding the American corporate machine. I hate this. I've seen a ton of movies, including but not limited to: American Beauty, Lilo and Stitch, MIIB, Mr. Deeds (ugh), and most recently Road to Perdition, which was awesome. I have a job as a stockroom clerk at the Albany County Department of Social Services. I move boxes, and it sucks. I've been spending my home hours playing a MUD called Realms of Despair with my brother. Go to the site, get the client, make a character, and be sad with me. In a week I'll be in Cape Cod, and in a month I'll be back at school. My life is on an unmistakable upswing. Yeah, baby. Yeah.

6/19/02 10:46pm Today was a kind-of Pond Day, you know, it happened today out of tradition, and it was a beautiful day as always, so that made me happy. In scary news, I scheduled my road test and it's less than two weeks away. I still don't know how to parallel park, and I'm a spaz. Basically, I'm going to fail miserably. It's ok though, because failing means that I will prolong my entrance into the American machine of death... ah yes. Speaking of which, July 4th is coming up... grumble... well, it's time for me to go eat some apple pie and join the Navy. Hey you, join the Navy!

6/10/02 1:28am Cecilia is still in critical condition.... argh. I really really need a job, and I guess I'll seriously start looking tomorrow. I'm drinking whole milk, and it sucks. I wonder where it came from and why it was in the refrigerator. At some point, my life took a turn for the unsatisfactory, and I want out right now... nothing seems to be going my way. Well, I guess things happen like that sometimes... things will pick up soon enough, or at the end of August, by default. Ahh, default.

6/4/02 12:20am Lots of things have happened... went to Buffalo for the weekend, came back to a computer that still won't boot. Cecilia is dying... meanwhile, I'm falling fast. Falling... don't catch me. I have a soul to rescue and a life to reclaim, and one of those isn't mine. All I ever wanted was to devote myself to someone, to something... but I choose my battles. Some causes aren't worth devoting yourself to. Someday I will be Queen, but I will always be myself.

5/30/02 1:54am Peanut butter on bread. Hayek's "The Road to Serfdom." Uematsu's "Final Fantasy IV: Celtic Moon" album. Samus Aran. What do they all have in common? They're all key components of my 1/life now... staying up until whenever, getting up whenever, blah blah blah... I really need a job. It's not that having no life is no fun, on the contrary, it's a barrel full of irresponsible monkeys. It's just... I dunno... I want my busy life back.

5/23/02 3:30pm I've done it! I've reached the nadir of human possibility, oh yes. RRARRHH! Doing nothing with my life has pushed me to something so primal, so unreal, oh yeah, I feel like a ninja: a mammal ready to flip out and kill people. Mmm... fudgicle for breakfast... human deterioration. I'm going to hit the library or something... waaaahahaaaaaaahaa!

5/21/02 11:00pm Snard! Imperial march! I hear it coming, the sky gets grey... I thought it was dead. What is he doing here? Why now? Snard, Snard, go away, destroy my life some other day...

5/19/02 1:19am "...these hands are a little too dirty to carry Marlene anymore..." It snowed this morning. This weekend was positive and strange, between hitting the Greek Fest, crashing the Shaker prom with three of my friends for no reason, going to Gateway a couple of times... my legs feel really weak for some reason. Is that thunder I hear? "You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That's the sound of inevitability..." I'm definitely unemployed... rarh! I guess I need to start throwing some meaning back into my life... otherwise, there won't be much left. OK, Bard, you've had a week without life... it's time to fight back. Right after this nap...

5/16/02 3:21am Just returned from a midnight showing of Star Wars: Episode II. Oh man... how cool was that? There were lightsabers and Yoda and droids and mad cool... oh man... my faith in the series has been summarily restored. Ah, I can rest easy now. Oh yes, the force is strong with this one.

5/13/02 1:02am Heading out to look for a job tomorrow morning. Went to Gateway and caught up with Julie after literally not talking to her since November... I got free ginger ale out of the deal too... rock on. Sometimes, things work out. I definitely have nothing to do here, though, so my acquiring an occupation will be imperative for the sake of my sanity as well as my wallet... and I'm going to need all of the funding I can get for my two intended trips out of the city this summer. Meanwhile, the future is ruthlessly attacking me, and there's nothing I can do but smile and take it in stride... the new Star Wars movie comes out soon; in my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

5/11/02 2:19am Back in Albany and loving it already... three of my best friends were waiting for me at my house at one in the morning and we headed out to Gateway after unloading my stuff from the car... thanks, guys. Big Pat leaves tomorrow for Queens... what an epic car ride, spanning the state... oh man. Well, sleep now... ahh, sleep. In another city. My city.

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