9/6/00 7:48pm At the very least, school starts tomorrow. Fortunately, more good things are happening as well. I ripped my pants last night, but then I got some duct tape and made it all better. It looks like I'm going to have to change my pants for the first day of school. Right, speaking of which, freshman orientation went off without so much as a hitch and last night I got to hang out with Bill, Paul, and Tom during an end-of-summer shindig. Oh, and I went miniature golfing with Shoe. That was an experience. Right, and I played football with Luci and JTF... and a bunch of other people. Football is a rather frightening ritual. Speaking of football, the damn Patriots lost on Sunday. That makes me angry... maybe they'll do better against the Jets this weekend. They lost their first season opener in six years... grarr. So anyhow, school starts tomorrow. It's going to be enjoyable.

9/1/00 11:33am "Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness..." Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, waiting for stuff to happen. This morning I telephoned my guidance counselor and got myself switched from Internet Applications to Sociology. I'm really looking forward to go back to school. Right, that reminds me, some things are happening over on the nDo Forum... reports of Dr. Metallo prohibiting any kind of recruitment attempts by the various clubs and teams at the school during freshman orienation. This is just downright puzzling, and I'm particularly angry because I know that getting the interest of freshmen early is essential. I should write the good doctor a quick e-mail. Wait, I forgot that speaking out at my school goes against the facist system in place there and could lead to my untimely execution. So much for the enrichment of the high school experience, I suppose.

9/1/00 1:19am Welp, there's nothing really going on at all. I worked heavily on the nDo website redesign today and the fruits of my labor are up and running. I have returned from my sabbatical in central New York. There's nothing like bathing in sulfuric wellwater... and brushing your teeth with it... and using it to cook ramen noodles... right, so it was a bucolic experience. Today the nDo meeting went well. Nothing is going on in my 1/social life. That makes me happy.

8/21/00 11:23pm I just finished watching a motion picture entitled "Bicentennial Man." I found it to be most enjoyable. I spent the majority of today's daylight hours with my friend Billy. We went to find Shoe but Shoe wasn't home, so we found Jenn instead. She's nice, and I had the opportunity to play Street Fighter 2 Turbo, one of my favorite 16-bit games. It's really a masterpiece... in any event, yesterday I... er... right, yeah, yesterday I went to Central New York to visit my extended family. They're nice people. Two parties coming up at the end of the week... at least something to occupy my time. I'm pretty much absolved from every kind of commitment imaginable. It's a good feeling.

8/19/00 9:53pm This is pretty good. My fall wardrobe is taking shape, and (surprise surprise) it's more or less exactly the same as last year. That's right, from the man who brought you uninterrupted t-shirts and jeans comes more of the same. The way I figure it... if it isn't broke, it ought not be fixed. So anyway, today I went to the house of Staufenberg and listened to some Staufenmusic (ranging from bouncy Japanese suicide music to disco to old 8-bit tunes) and watched Craig play Chrono Cross. Oh, and Mark gave me a fudgicle (is it fudgicle or fudgecicle?) and poked fun at every aspect of my social life. Yeah, them Staufs are a reliable bunch. Right, so there's a government conspiracy out there now, the goal of which is to get me a pair of new shoes. The government neither confirms nor denies that such 'new' shoes actually exist. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

8/18/00 3:01pm "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so..." Wait a second. Sure, I have a very good reason to be sad. Fortunately, I have about fifty better reasons to be happy. I really haven't lost anything... I still have the powers of Bard, the versatility of a ptarmigan, a glass full of lemonade... man alive, I'm still winning the game of life! Just a quick shout out to Billy, Paul, Sarah, the Brothers Staufenberg, and Leili... thanks, kids. Be sure to visit my latest web endeavour on behalf of the New York State Commission on National and Community Service... www.nyscncs.org. Time to go play some videogames or something; I'm on vacation now.

8/15/00 9:07pm Right, so I've returned from the Cape and I'm on an upward spiral at the moment... whee. The rollercoaster ride is never over, but it's nice to know that I get times like this where nothing is going wrong. Life is good, kids. I've got amazing friends, lots of expensive electronic entertainment equipment, the abilities of a ptarmigan on steriods, an eight hour music playlist, and Anne... I'm pretty sure it doesn't get much better than this. If this is as good as it gets, I'm satisfied. Oh, and I have a dog that sleeps most of the day. This is the part of the show where the peasants rejoice. The nDo website is going to come back with a vengeance come September --- fear the coup! This is Bard, signing out until the rollercoaster takes a terrible turn towards earth.

8/2/00 11:28am I sit here in my marble tower, cut off from existence for eight straight hours. It's a rough life. At least when I get home I'll be able to play videogames or hang out with Zonk or something. At least I'll be on the beach this time next week. At least I'm still a god for the time being. Right now, things are good enough for me. A quick shout out to Julie for sending me snail mail, Dobush because he's moving, James for hanging out with me, Leili for good conversation, Zonk for being the man with the master plan, and Anne... for being Anne. I'll keep up the updates from work because there's nothing else to do here but official State business stuffs.

7/26/00 2:47pm Clouds. All I can see up there are clouds, ominous as ever. This is my prison... this is how the story ends. You fight for your entire life to get to where you want to be, and you end up kicking in the dust with the rest of those that haven't fought at all. Is it better to have fought valiantly and lost than to have never fought at all? I don't know. All I know is that you ought not put any faith in anyone other than yourself. I will uphold the prime directive and continue. I will never give up the fight.

7/24/00 10:27pm It's impossible to ascertain the exact reasoning behind your part in my deft construction, butter cup baby, and even more impossible why you find it necessary to subsequently let me down; in addition you perplex me to no end, and arguably the most difficult among your actions to understand and approve of is your uncanny tendency to not make verbal contact by use of the telephone, baby, even when you make it clear that you intend to in the near future... however, I remain enamored. No, that'll never work... "Why do you build me up, butter cup baby just to let me down, and mess me around and then worst of all you never call baby when you say you will, but I love you still..." What's the deal with our songs? It reminds me about this time... I was told about this guy who was studying the culture of a nomadic desert tribe indigenous to some portion of subsaharan Africa. He was discussing his findings with one of the tribal wisemen, to whom he explained, "I've noticed that many of your songs have to do with rain. Is that because rain is so scarce here?" And the tribal guy replied, "Possibly. Is that why so many of your songs are about love?"

7/4/00 7:48am Well, I just walked from the Capitol downtown to my house. It took me less than one hour. I got down there and made my way through the crowd in anticipation of the fireworks show when I realized that I must have some kind of agoraphobia or something. Maybe it hurt my eyes to see patriotism manifested in large crowds of people eager to buy cheesestakes. Maybe it was the sweltering humidity finally getting to me. Anyway, I walked from the Empire State Plaza... all the way... I'm not even really in the mood to breathe right now. These are the experiences that make up my life. I wouldn't have it any other way. In other Bard news, I realized that I have misled myself and violated my own prime directive. Look where it has led me... I acted to keep myself from getting hurt, and I ended up getting hurt worse than anything I've ever experienced. Right, so I'm off to get some more water. I think my feet are going to start looking for employment elsewhere... I work them to death and they don't get paid anything. There has to be a law against that...

7/4/00 1:42am I just finished... watching this movie. The movie was... called "Bridge on the River Kwai" and Alec Guinness was in it. I'm... speechless. See movie if get chance. Wow. I... wow. Man, it's pretty late now. But... holy... wow. See the movie.

7/3/00 1:04pm "Edleweiss... edleweiss, every morning you greet me. Pure and white, clean and bright... you look happy to meet me. Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever... edleweiss, edleweiss... bless my homeland forever..." This is one of those days. The shield is charging and in about ten hours there will be no more tears, no more sorrow, just the essence... I've got my trombone, my ice cream, my level 99 minotaur, and a lazy dog. Who could ask for anything more? Who could ask for anything more...

7/1/00 8:36pm I must think... play you dogs, inspire me. What tempo, captain? A symphony... It's funny, you know, how one minute everything in the world can be so right and how the next... the entire thing comes crashing down like so many ill-placed diamonds and hearts in a card house. They deftly drag the carpet right out from under your feet... why does it have to be this way? You put your faith and trust into something and where does it lead? Suffering. You live your life to the best of your ability with only the best of intentions and actions, and you end up falling headfirst into the cold, solid ground. I'd like to send a greeting and a thanks out to Billy and Paul, for being around whenever I need a quick reminder that while I change, some people still remain, Mark for being the lawyer and whooping me with Captain Commando and Spider-Man, and Tom for playing croquet and keeping things in perspective with a well-timed TOMSMASH!!! or two. And Craig... I don't know, man. That's rough.

6/26/00 5:18pm Holy hydrolysis it's hot out there... it's probably easier to swim down the street than it is to walk. The dewpoint is like three degrees lower than the temperature... if it got any closer I'd be breathing water instead of air. Just like a fish... I suppose it didn't help me much to play frisbee up at St. Catherine's with Tom and Billy and his girlfriend and Jon the Fat. Now I'm dying. It's kind of funny because the humidity makes my 'H' key stick down and I have to pull it up every time I want to use it... and humidity starts with 'H'... great, now I'm just delirious.

6/26/00 12:02am Wow. It was one of those nights where you could see the humidity in the air in the middle of the night. The moisture just stagnated there... sitting over everything and making everything sticky and not exceptionally pleasant. It was an amazing weekend though. I went to Syracuse on Saturday for a graduation party and I followed the appetizer guy around at the fancy restaurant... stuffed portabella mushrooms, bacon-wrapped scallops, and quesadillas. I knocked back about five ginger ales and listened to an old man tell stories. Today (yesterday? methinks it might be past my bedtime) I played the t-bone at graduation and went over to Anne's house... then I went to Lauren's and I saw this great Robin Williams movie called "Good Morning Vietnam" and had a gigantic burrito from Bomber's. I would like to thank Lauren for hosting the 1/party, Emily for playing the part of reason and sticking to the task at hand, Alyssa for providing uh... insights, and Anne for existing. I'm done... I think I might have to go implode because of the constant moisture innundation. Grr...

6/23/00 5:34pm "What a day it has been, what a rare mood I'm in... why it's almost like being in love..." The definition of incoherent drivel soars to new heights today. I think I'm goint to rename this site _B A R D J U L E or something. I make myself sick. Right, so I walked around the city with Anne today. I played frisbee with Julie and Tom and I ripped some MP3's from a Yanni CD last night. If I listen to any more music I think I might go crazy. I went on an expedition to the Staufenberg Manor to reclaim my worldy posessions from the clutches of evil (ok, fine, Mark) and evil's dog (Sam the Terrible). What a good day.

6/21/00 7:29pm I removed the peregrine cameras today because all of the eyasses (er... small falcons) have their flight feathers and no longer frequent the nests that were being monitored. I plan on putting webcams back on my site next nesting season... it was fun while it lasted. Meanwhile back in Bardville, things are running smoothly and the weather has cooperated recently... it makes me happy. I am back in a relationship now so I will be closely monitoring the levels of incoherent drivel that gets posted up here. I'd just like to make a quick shout out to Billy and Paul: it's nice to know that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

6/19/00 9:01pm Day is done, gone the sun: from the lake, from the hills, from the sky... All is well; safely rest: God is nigh.

6/18/00 5:09pm What an ugly day... cold, rainy... cold. Everyone I know is miserable. That includes me, of course... thankfully, I had two great days with great people this weekend. From playing Risk with my friends and watching as Emily ruthlessly conquered the world to helping Dobush through struggle after struggle to singing songs with Craig to high-fiving Shoe to watching Sarah's dance recital to observing in awe as Anne defeated a fearsome three-headed Chimera to seeing Julie through multiple crises to sympathizing with Billy to slaughtering countless goblins with Jon the Fat. Last night was incredible... there were these fireworks in the sky, and this awesome shade of blue and I got to have ice cream... but it's still miserable. It's amazing how people can be perfectly fine one minute and on the verge of tears the next when the wrong chord is struck... too many people are getting hurt. Here's to ice cream... the emotional duct tape.

6/9/00 9:32pm This is mildly pathetic. I'm sitting at home on a Friday night with nothing to do. I suppose I could play some videogames... Jon the Fat just bought Gauntlet Legends for Dreamcast. Speaking of Dreamcast, I wore my orange Dreamcast shirt today. It's orange. I deviated from my standard procedures today. I wore an orange shirt and I tucked it in. I walked to Broo-ayger's a different way than normal. Now I'm staying home on a Friday night when I could probably be out having a good time. At least I have four and a half hours of shuffled MP3 tracks to listen to and a cupboard full of ramen noodles. It's a hard knock life, I assure you.

6/7/00 10:01pm It looks like I've done a complete 180 now... out of the dark and into the night, as they say. It's fine though, because I went swinging in the park with Julie and James and Craig. I even watched some of that goofy CBS show "Survivor," you know, the one where they drop the people off on the island and videotape them competing against each other for $1 million. Now this is television... OK, so that's about it. I think swings are great... you just go forward and backward until you reach this point... terminal swing velocity, and then you go up and you keep going but the swing goes down and then you start falling and it hurts, but it's OK because it's sorta fun and exhilarating and stuff. Right, now I'm done.

6/5/00 6:40pm Fine, so now I'm sitting here at home after a long day of thinking and moping and playing the trombone and walking and moping some more and drinking root beer. It wasn't exactly a good day. It was cloudy and stuff, and pretty cold. Right, so I'm going out with Anne now... perhaps I was able to do something right. Unfortunately, it remains to be seen if it will last and how long I can keep running away from my shadow. I think Peter Pan had it easy, he wasn't even attached to his shadow. He could fly around and stay young forever, too. Sometimes I wish I could fly around and stuff. Yeah, like ducks and falcons and things. Maybe it's true that when you begin a relationship with someone your website turns into incoherent drivel. If that's true, it's happening to me and I know a few other people who it happened to. Pretty scary stuff.

5/29/00 7:40pm What a good day. I marched in the parade with a feather in my trombone, blaring my solo louder than I ever have... even Zonk thinks I went over the edge that time. I had to cover for the trumpets a few times too... stupid trumpets. Right, so then I went home and I had some good old fashioned Memorial Day picnic food with my family and my aunt and uncle who were up from Delaware (the Deep South) and I got to hang out with my cousin Chris for a little while. Then I took a three hour walk with my MP3 player and uh... Anne. We went to see Russ and the brothers Staufenberg, and I got to watch the ducks. Ducks are pretty cool, because they can fly and swim and eat bread and stuff. So now I'm pretty tired, but I had a good day. Hah, and I played Actraiser on my SNES emulator.

5/28/00 11:34pm I saw The Matrix for the first time today. I'm not sure why I did... in my opinion, it was a substandard attempt at best. Predictable, long, and boring. At least there were some neat special effects... right, well tomorrow I'm marching in the parade. Yeah, and it's going to be fun. Look out, Albany.

5/24/00 10:16pm I went to the park today and threw the frisbee around, went on the slide and the swings, and just spent time with some friends. It was a good day. I think walking home every day is doing good things for me... provided it doesn't kill me eventually. I haven't walked so frequently since I was in New Mexico. Heh, New Mexico...

5/23/00 9:27pm Right, so I finally finished my Alexandre Dumas portfolio for the evil class of the World Lit. Among my works is a short little poem entitled Rainbow Void of Color. It's pretty cliche, but it got the job done. The rest of my Dumas stuff should be up when I get around to it.

5/22/00 7:14pm Some interesting stuff is happening over at Mark's Homepage. I checked over there yesterday and everything looked normal. I went there today and there was fifty percent more riboflavin. Since I'm going to be busy working on my Word Literature homework, anyone visiting here should hop on over to Mark's because now it's more complete from A to Zinc. Plus, you can't go wrong with Mr. T and a counter that's nearing the one thousand mark.

5/21/00 2:21pm I went to the Greek Festival yesterday, and it was a good end to a great day. I walked everywhere, I saw Gladiator again, and I got to hit people with a large inflatable hammer. It probably can't get much better than that.

5/20/00 12:19am Right, so I just got back from an exceptionally surreal experience. The worst day of my life turned into a bizarre and ultimately enjoyable experience. Yes, I ended up with water dumped all over my lap. Yes, I managed to alienate half of the people I know. Yes, there are going to be complications tomorrow and probably for a long time. It's fine though. I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few people that helped me through the downward spiral and back up into a moderate degree of sanity. Julie is one of my best friends, and I'm honored to have someone like her around on days like this so I can walk in the rain with an upside down duck and just be generally collimated. James is probably the coolest euphonium player on the face of the earth, and I'm also honored to know him. Sean is an all around great person, and against his better judgement, I still trust him. Shoe is the man, and that's all there is to it. As for Leili, she suprises me sometimes... I can't think of a better person to help James bring me back to reality. I never give my brother enough credit, but I'd like to give him props for shaving his chin and sucking helium out of a balloon. Emily, Anne, and Emily give me three more reasons to believe that not all females are pure evil. Seb, Burns, and Adam Geyer ought to be thanked for their existence and reminding me that nothing really ever changes. And Lauryn, you're still cool even if you buckled your seat belt.

5/17/00 4:58pm I just added an HTML version of my Treatise on the Enforcement and Integrity of the "No Fun in the Courtyard" Policy. Now it should be easier to access and reproduce.

5/16/00 8:56pm After much drafting, adding, and revising, my Treatise on the Enforcement and Integrity of the "No Fun in the Courtyard" Policy has been completed and is ready for download. All comments should be e-mailed to me. With hope, the situation will be resolved as soon as the school administration learns of our efforts.

5/16/00 7:41pm Article two of the Treatise on the Enforcement and Integrity of the "No Fun in the Courtyard" Policy has been added. Articles three and four should be up as soon as I finish them.

5/16/00 5:10pm I added a second peregrine cam today. It's from a nest underneath the Dunn Memorial Bridge between Albany and Rensselaer. I'm going to get back to work on my treatise... blah.

5/15/00 10:04pm As promised, the first article of my Treatise on the Enforcement and Integrity of the "No Fun in the Courtyard" Policy has been posted. I'm planning on adding much more to this, so I will be updating this link as time goes by. If you have anything to add to the document, don't hesitate to e-mail me.

5/15/00 6:46pm Keeping in touch with my fascination with the peregrine falcon, I have added the new peregrine cam to my page. It provides an auto-reloading window with a new image of the nesting peregine falcons at the Kodak building in Rochester every minute or so. Check it out, it's pretty neat. I also added a few falcon-related sites to the links section. Provided I get some motivation, I'll be writing a treatise regarding Albany High School's "no fun in the courtyard" policy tonight, and I'll probably post it here when I'm done. In the meantime, you can look at the fuzzy falcon chicks.

5/8/00 7:09pm Right, so today we lost the volleyball game but I won the game of life by avoiding the draft. That's Bard '1', Uncle Sam '0'. In related news, the play went off this past weekend without so much as a hitch (apart from Mini-Bard screwing up his tech cues and putting his hands on his hips). I saw Gladiator on Saturday. It's an excellent film, and you should probably go see it. I'm going to see it again next time I get the chance. Right, so now I'm done rambling and I have to do some homework.

4/30/00 9:47pm Everything is pretty much up except for the Projects section, and that will be up soon (ie in a month or so). I went to the junior prom last night and I had a good time despite everything that could have been improved. Speech captain election is tomorrow... this ought to be good.

4/23/00 3:51pm Right, well, I got my motivation back. It's time to finish this site up and launch the sucka...

2/22/00 6:19pm Sidebar and fine print blurb finished. I also finished the header graphics for the individual sections.

2/22/00 12:27am This is where it all begins, I suppose. [insert text]

And this is where my recorded history basically ends, at least in this format. Prior to the spring of my junior year at Albany High, I was involved in several other web projects, but my personal page was nothing more than a cool interface that I made in Flash 4. It served its purpose, and even Dan Englander described it as "pretty fierce." In the months leading up to my development of "Bard's Homepage," I ran a videogame e-zine called "Jaded," the nDo website, and projects in the Quake 2 Weapons Factory mythos including "Weapons Factory Direct" and a page for my Q2WF clan, Requiem Mass.

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